Please, stay with me... {TAG Sinbad}

Eric was galloping at full speed, the wind drying the flow of tears from his face. He kept trying to remember the last time he had properly talked to his parents, the last time he had seen them… Bu the truth was that, since he had joined the watch, they had always been ‘too busy’ for him, even after they had officially forgiven him. But even after that they had avoided him, in his visits he could consider himself lucky if he was able to briefly see his mother or his father.

And even now that they died, did anyone care to send him news they were sick? Did anyone care to inform him? To treat him like family? No! He had to accidentally pass by to find out, and then suddenly he was supposed to understand and accept, and pay respects and attend the funeral… Would his parents even have wanted him there? Would it have mattered to them? Maybe they would have have preferred for him to stay where they had sent him, at the wall, where he couldn’t dishonor more the family… after all, if they wanted him around, they would have tried to see him now and then, they would have sent him letter now and then!

But no, nothing! They had rejected him! They had said they had forgiven him but Eric never felt like they meant it… and deep down, he had always wondered if they had sent him to the wall because of that girl, and not just to get rid of him… And now… now that there was no way ever to get an answer to those heavy question, they all seemed even more real. Now he would ever have a chance to actually make them forgive him, to ever make his father proud, to ever hear his mother saying that she loved him… he had thought he had lost hope in all of that long before, but now, now that death had taken them away cutting any thin chance he had to see those things come to reality, now he realized that he had never stopped wishing those things. And it was painful to see it now, now that every hope was lost for real.

He knew Tycho and Adam would get mad for his absence, that Cao would suffer, that he was being irresponsible and stupid and impulsive, but he just couldn’t stay, seeing their bodies now… that would make it all undeniably real, and he couldn’t handle it, he would break down! And he already couldn’t stop crying, and his father’s voice resounded in his head ‘stop crying, you’re making a fool out of yourself! What are you, a little girl? Act like a man!’, but he couldn’t help, tears just wouldn’t stop!

Only as he approached the harbor where he had left Sinbad he managed to dry his tears, just in time before he could dismount from his horse, leave him at the first stable near a tavern and then direct himself toward Sinbad’s ship. It was late evening, not many people were around and on the ship they had seen him not even a whole day before, so nobody asked question, nobody approached him. He directed himself toward Sinbad’s room and knocked, he could only hope he’d be there. Now he simply needed him, him and only him, he was the only person in the whole world he wanted by his side in that moment.

He had to wait only a little while before Sinbad arrived to open the door. Eric kept his glance down, but he didn’t need to look at SInbad to know how surprised he must have been in that moment. “My parent died.” that was his explanation, given in an absolute flat tone and if Sinbad didn’t know him how he did he might have even thought Eric didn’t care. But as a matter of fact SInbad did know him, he knew how Eric had the habit to let his emotions implode, to hide behind disinterest while his heart bled, to look like he didn’t care while pain would eat him alive. And if that wasn’t enough, his red eyes revealed he had cried, and a lot too…

“I didn’t get in the sept… I didn’t want to see them, I ran away” he started talking, and talking he felt like he was finally realizing what he had done. He had actually left during such an important moment, could his brothers now ever forgive him? Would he ever be welcome again at home? “I just… I couldn’t, it was too sudden, I couldn’t handle it, I couldn’t” now he was panicking: all the fear, all the sadness, all the frustration… it was starting to come out, and his breath was growing shorter and shorter, if felt like panic was chocking him

Sinbad opened his door which revealed Eric, causing a smile to form on his face then fall immediately at the sight of his red eyes and his comment. His eyes widening a bit at the mention of Eric's parents being death, grimacing deeply at the male's flat tone as well. He was holding back his emotions once again. But this time it seemed that Eric was about to break and let all of those emotions flow out like a river out of him. "Eric..." he murmured softly under his breath as he reached out and pulled the male in to the room into his arms, wrapping his own arms around the male. "Just let it out. Don't keep your emotions locked up, it'll only hurt worse," Sinbad murmured softly yet sternly into the male's ear. He didn't care about the death of those people, but it did affect his lover greatly no matter how much Sinbad hated his parents.

As Sinbad pulled him closer and into his arms, wrapping his arms around him, Eric hugged him back tightly, hiding his face in the cavity between his neck and his shoulder. Tears started once again to flow from his eyes while silent sobs started shaking his shoulders. The sadness was just overwhelming, and he was holding on Sinbad like his life depended on it. He didn't need to explain to Sinbad how complex his relationship with his parents and with his family in general was, how deeply fucked up it was, he didn't need to say anything, Sinbad knew and he simply needed him to be there, to stay in his arms, to feel protected for once and not judged, to feel loved and accepted, and not pushed "My brothers will be furious when they realize I ran away..." he muttered under his breath, still hiding his face

Sinbad felt the male's shoulders shaking against him and felt tears wetting his shoulder slightly too. He hugged the male tighter in response and rubbing his back in a soothing motion. His eyebrows furrowed a bit as the male muttered about his brothers being furious about him running away. "They'll be answering to me if they dare confront you," Sinbad scowled softly in a threatening tone.

It took Eric a while to manage to calm down and stop crying, only then he finally stood up, moving just slightly away from Sinbad, wiping his eyes shamefully before he would face his lover. He smiled slightly at Sinbad's protective attitude, he was too tired to even try to protect his family in an imaginary situation and beside that sensation of feeling protected was nice and soothing "I need a drink..." he sighed, hoping Sinbad would agree to go with him to the closest tavern. He just needed to stop thinking...

Sinbad watched his lover carefully as Eric then moved slightly away from him to calm down a bit more. Then slightly smiled as his lover then commented that he needed a drink. "I'll take you to the tavern...But not too many drinks now. Don't want you getting crazy drunk right now," Sinbad remarked as he hooked his arm around Eric's neck and began leading him out of the ship to the closet tavern near the ship. Sinbad did slightly wondered if anybody had followed his lover by any chance.

"Sure, whatever..." he muttered a bit: too many drinks actually seemed exactly like what he needed in that moment. Passing out on alcohols and forget he even ever had emotions, that sounded nice... beside, he was with Sinbad, so he was safe. As SInbad hooked his arm around Eric's neck, he kissed him lightly on the cheek "sorry for the shirt..." he muttered then under his breath, a bit ashamed of how his tears had wet the male's shirt. He walked with Sinbad's arm around his neck until they were about to leave the ship. Just then, with a weak apologetic smile, he took the arm off: they weren't in Dorne anymore, showing too much affection publicly could be dangerous... He stepped in the tavern with Sinbad and occupied a table, ordering as much wine as the innkeeper could bring them. Then he took his head between his hand, looking down, trying to stop all the heavy thoughts that were forming in his mind: what had he done? What would his brothers think? What would they do? It had taken years for them to start shyly bonding again and now... would they turn their back on him again?

"It's alright." Sinbad remarked, though slightly frowning as Eric pulled his arm off around his shoulder. Now that wasn't alright, but he wasn't going to upset the male any further than he already was. Why couldn't the rest Westeros be like Dorne? Life would be much easier for everyone. He sighed a bit before they entered the tavern and finding a table with the male. Arching an eyebrow at how much wine that Eric had just ordered from the innkeeper, making him slightly frown a bit. Was he really just going to drown himself in alcohol to forget today? That wasn't going to do much at all. Sinbad stared at the male, knowing that questions wee whirling around in the male's head. "Want to spit out anything?"

He barely noticed how Sinbad frowned at his request, but since the male didn't say anything out loud he saw no reason to comment on that. At his question he sighed "I don't know what to do..." he admitted lowly. Before he could say anything more, the innkeeper arrived and left a couple of bottles on the table, along with a couple of glasses. Eric quickly poured some wine in his glass and then drank the whole thing in just a few gulps. "I haven't seen them in almost a year, you know..." he commented under his breath, filling again his glass "Thinking that I'll never see them again..." he frowned, feeling his emotions overwhelm him once more. He swallowed again the whole glass and filled it once more "I just... I always though there was time, I would be able to make them happy one day... I could make them proud... i could make them forgive me, for real... they... they never really wanted to see me much, even after they said they forgave me..." as always, alcohol was making him more talkative

Sinbad got him a bottle from the table, and poured himself a glass of wine and drunk some of it. His eyebrow raised a bit as Eric drunk a whole glass of wine in just a few gulps of it. Now that was a sign for trouble. He ignored the slight irritated feeling in his gut as he listened to Eric. "Gosh...you're making me despise them even more," Sinbad muttered to himself as he tilted his head over at Eric. He sighed softly under his breath. 'If they didn't want to see you, then that was their waste."

Sinbad's words hurt him a bit: should he just stay quiet then? Was he making a mistake talking about this subject? He loved his parents, no matter how difficult the relationship they had was, no matter how much he suffered because of them... beside, they hadn't always been cruel to him! There were times when he had had a taste of their love... just a little taste... just enough to let him crave more, and wonder if he would ever get it... He swallowed another glass of wine, and then quickly another one... alcohol was numbing his senses and in that moment that felt so incredibly good "I just wonder if they even ever cared for me... I don't even think they missed me, when I went away..." his voice was starting to be drowsy and he was obviously be more forthcoming. He stretched a bit on the table, reaching with his hand SInbad's hand and touching it lightly

Sinbad grimaced a bit as Eric downed another glass of wine once more again. "Oi...take it easy on the alcohol ."he warned the male, hearing the male's voice sounding a bit drowsy now. Don't tell him that Eric was just going to drown his troubles with liquor? The last time that Sinbad had done that, he had almost drowned in Dorne. "Don't say that, Eric."Sinbad murmured softly to his lover in a worried tone, blinking a bit in surprise as Eric reached out his hand and touch Sinbad's hand lightly. Dark blue eyes searched around the tavern, thankfully no body was paying much attention really. Sinbad didn't care who knew about them, but Eric did. And he didn't need anymore stress upon his shoulders for damn sakes.

Eric mumbled a "mhm" shrugging lightly at Sinbad's warning: what was the big deal after all? What was the worst thing that could happen? That he would get drunk? He didn't mind that in that moment, at least he wouldn't have to keep feeling that dull pain in his chest... "Why shouldn't I?" he asked in a drowsy voice "If that's true... what difference does it make if I say it or not?" he was staring at his glass with a sad expression, his hand now tightening around Sinbad's "They n-never said they cared... and I never dared to ask... now I never will..."

Sinbad wasn't sure what to do really. He could be there for the male physically but like this emotionally, not so well. "Because you're only downing yourself even deeper," Sinbad answered in a serious tone, frowning a bit at Eric's later comments. "You don't need to know if they did care for you. You got my care." he commented to Eric in a soft murmur, gazing down at Eric's hand lightly. Squeezing his hand a bit while his eyes kept on the people around them, to make sure there were no suspicions. Where was the wary Eric when he needed him.

He was only drowning himself deeper, wasn't he? But he just couldn't help! He had repressed his feelings for so long, and now that he was stuck with those unresolved questions for the rest of his life... he just couldn't help but keep wondering. At Sinbad's words though he smiled softly to him. Yes, he did have Sinbad, and the Gods knew how happy he was now to be back with the man! If there wasn't the table between them, now he would have hugged him tight and would have nuzzled against his throat, but there was the table between them and a little tiny part of him that was still conscious enough and not drown in alcohol tried to remind him what a bad idea it was, risking to drag everyone's attention...
He stared at his glass before he would swallow in a few gulp another glass of wine, purring to Sinbad in a drowsy whisper "I wanna cuddle..." he said that staring at Sinbad with puppy eyes, his cheeks heated because of the alcohol...

Sinbad groaned a bit softly under his breath as the male just downed another glass of wine, shaking his head a bit. His eyebrow raised a bit at the male's purring of a whisper to wanting to cuddle. "Will that stop you from drinking?" Sinbad questioned the drowsy Eric, swallowing a bit at the sight of the puppy blue eyes. If they did get a room quickly, it might prevent Eric from losing his morals right here in front of everyone in the Tavern.

"maaaaaybe..." he replied in a little chuckle, noticing even in his drunk state how his drinking was upsetting Sinbad. But his mind and heart were getting more and more numbed by the alcohol: he could already feel that awefull pain that was oppressing his chest letting him be, almost forgotten... bless the wine! It could help him even in such a terrible moment... sure, he was chuckling half drunk in a tavern instead of mourning his parents in the sept as he was supposed to, and that made him feel guilty... ok, well, if he was still sober enough to think such a thing, that only meant he needed more alcohol. He took the bottle again, standing up, even if not without troubles: after all he knew that glance on Sinbad's face, they were about to get a room, and if they were leaving the room he could at least take with him the bottle

Sinbad crossed his arms over his chest as he gave the other male a look. "There's no maybe. A yes or no would suffice better." he remarked, glancing over at the bottle of wine before back to Eric. He wasn't going to get a room until he got a definite answer. As he studied his lover for a moment, a thought passed his mind about the alcohol. "And you're not bringing that bottle of wine into the room either," Sinbad added in a quick defiant tone, as he kept a stern gaze upon Eric.

Eric had to grip the table not to fall on the floor: his head was spinning, and he was having serious problems keeping his balance. At Sinbad's words he frowned: urgh, really?  But why? He was finally making him feel better... he was feeling all warm and fuzzy... but if he had to pick between Sinbad and the alcohol.... he openly rolled his eyes at his lover in such a childlike way but he did put the bottle back on the table "o-ok...ok... n-no wine... happy?" he finally agreed to stop drinking. And for how he was moving now, they didn't even need any kind of excuse to get a room, the situation was pretty self explanatory...

Sinbad hissed softly under his breath as he watched the male grip the table to stop himself from falling. He got up out of his seat, ready to leave for the room and catch the male if he did fall from too much alcohol in his system. He smirked a bit at his lover rolling his eyes at him in a childlike manner, nodding his head. "Yes, I'm very happy." Sinbad remarked out before holding out a hand to the male. "Come on you drunk," he remarked out loudly in a teasing gruff tone.

Eric chuckled in a reeeeally drunk way at Sinbad's words, taking his head and leading him, not without difficulties, to the counter where the innkeeper quickly gave them the keys of a room. They reached the room pretty quickly, Eric had at least that little sparkle of common sense left in him to remember that hug and cuddle or worse kiss Sinbad in public places was a bad thing, but as soon as they reached the room he just couldn't contain himself anymore. He hugged the man, rubbing his cheek against his neck and shoulder, just enjoying the closeness

As soon as they got into the room, Eric began to hug him and rub his cheek against Sinbad's neck and shoulder. Sinbad couldn't help but lowly chuckled softly at these actions as he led the male to the bed. He eased the male onto the bed, but didn't get on the bed with the drunk male. "You need to sleep today off. And all that wine." Sinbad simply said as he pushed the male backwards onto the bed.

He didn't complain as SInbad easied him toward the bed, he just followed his lead, but as soon as his lover left him there Eric looked at him with sad lost puppy eyes. Please don't leave me! That's what he was screaming without need to open his mouth: he stretched his arms toward him, just muttering a "please?". He didn't know what Sinbad's intentions were, if he wanted to leave or to stay... but he didn't want to stay alone, not in that moment!

Sinbad sighed softly after a moment of silence as he watched Eric stretch his arms out towards him and giving him puppy dog eyes. "I won't leave you. But only cuddling alright?" Sinbad commented down over to Eric before he moved back over to the bed. He got onto the bed with Eric, wrapped his arms around Eric's waist and pulled him closer to his chest.

Eric nodded to him, sighing relieved as Sinbad agreed to stay. Only cuddling, of course! He wasn't in any mood to do anything else any way, no matter how much wine he drunk, he wasn't able to change that. But he just needed the male next to him, he just needed not to feel alone... He clinged to Sinbad, hiding his face on his chest, breathing in his scent... Would they start the funeral now without him? Would they send for him? He wasn't a child anymore and neither was Tycho, he could easily just ignore the fact he was gone... and now he regret he had left the bottle in the other room... if he could still think these kind of thoughts he wasn't drunk enough!

Soon he feel asleep in SInbad's arms, but his night was filled with nightmares and tears: he tossed and turned all night in Sinbad's arms, clinging to the man, trembling in his arms, wetting his shirt with new tears during his sleep... he dreamt of his parents of the nice moments, of the bad ones, of when he thought they could actually maybe love him, of when he felt like he didn't matter at all... When in the morning he work up, he was more tired than when he had gone to sleep, his head was hurting and spinning but the effects of the alcohol were gone. He did actually think for a moment of going to drink again, but he had the feeling Sinbad would have actually hit him if he had tried something like that... such hypocrisy! How could he, out of everyone, be so much against alcohol?

Well, Eric didn't really care... he just curled up more next to him, without waking him up, just letting him sleep a bit more. Oh, why didn't he stay in Dorne with Sinbad? Those ten days had been so perfect... They could have been still in bed, not wiping his tears after a night of nightmares but recovering from the sweet pain of a night of sex, having not a problem in the world... and instead... instinctively Eric cling more to Sinbad: he knew those thoughts were despicable, but did it matter? His family hadn't even bothered to inform him about their illness... he had found out about their death by accident! And now, no doubt, they were acting all offended by his actions... like he was the one who had turned his back on them...